I am a mid twenty something that has been engaged and has seen MOST of her friends married and with kids... and some divorced. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are so ready to run down the aisle and then run from the marriage. Granted, I was young and ready to get married when I accepted my ex's proposal. I had the whole wedding planned and what not. I was READY... or NOT.
I was so in love with idea of marriage and being married that I forgot to step back and ask myself those basic questions: Am I ready emotionally? Am I going to be able to fight the world with this man and does he make me a better person? Will I be able to achieve my goals and dreams while I'm married and will this man help me do it?
Unfortunately, most of the answers to those questions were no. I was ready to run down the aisle and get married before I stopped and actually THOUGHT about it. I was swept away in the ideal. Fortunately, I became wise before the big "I Do", but so many don't. I'm not saying that you shouldn't get married. I want to get married one day. I am just saying that before you rush into anything rash and completely emotionally driven... stop and think.
Marriage isn't all fuzzy emotions. Relationships aren't fuzzy emotions. They are really hard work. Now, they don't seem like hard work when you are with the right person because when you are happy the hard times don't seem nearly as hard as they would if you are in a relationship that doesn't click. If it seems you are working too hard to make a relationship work and to make yourself connect with the other person... chances are then you ARE working too hard.
I'm in a happy relationship that I hope one day develops into something solid and one day ends up in marriage. I'm not going to pretend though that it isn't going to be hard. The road to that point is going to be rocky and it is going to call into question my feelings and who I am, but if I am as happy and content then as I am now then it will all be worth it. You never know until you reach that point if it was worth the fight, but until then I'm going to put my emotional running shoes away. When I head down the aisle I won't be running. I will be strutting with my expensive high heels because by that point I will know that it isn't the wedding or the marriage I am walking toward, but my new life with the man I love.
Comments (1)
preach baby, preach. =)